The Curse of the Match List

It's 1645hrs on a Friday afternoon in late March. If I'm writing a post, it means either a) there isn't enough lab work for me today, b) I'm avoiding my lab work, c) both, or d) happy hour is nigh. Maybe some combination of all the above.

I recently finished all the rigorous lecture-based coursework for the graduate phase of my training. All that is left is to tweak my project to get an impressive enough quantity of data, do some tutorials with individual faculty members, take some more seminars, do qualifying exams (both written and oral). So, there's a ton more to do.

But something about this time of year always makes me feel so optimistic and forward looking. That something is the match list. In three pages, I can browse the future hospital, program, and specialty of every graduating senior in the medical school class. It looks, without question, quite impressive. And this year, I'm looking at names of people I know, people with whom I attended parties, with whom I compared notes about how to study for exams and how to make it through difficult stretches with research. Granted, nothing can prepare me for the match list next year, in which my first and second year colleagues will be the beneficiaries of The Match.

The problem I have with scrupulously looking over The List is that it allows for a thought experiment that eerily reminded me of what I did when finding out about my older friends and their successes in applying to medical school. Mulling over the final product of the labor of others takes time, but worse, it's like Facebook stalking someone [1]. You sum up a person based on a nifty quotation, a photograph, a really impressive status, or any number of other inane metrics. With The Match, one does the same kind of simplification/idealization. It's toxic. It allows me to say, "Well, because I have a similar board score to Mildred, or better research credentials than Jose, or more impressive clinical skills than Felipe, I surely can get into otolaryngology at UCLA as well!"

Perhaps the internal dialogue above is most indicative with the problem many of us (especially yours truly) have when we look at the achievements of others. We can't but help project onto/into/through ourselves. To do so with The Match not only makes a decision based on years of work and on many challenging moments of reflection seem boiled down to a single line on a PDF accessed securely through the medstudent website. It shouldn't be. So I guess my concluding emotion on The Match for MSTPs graduating this year is, "Well done, guys. Looks like you matched to impressive programs." And for at least one student, I know he matched to the specialty and institution of his choice. That's something worth celebrating.




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1. Yes I've facebook stalked before. Not something I'm proud of, but at least I'm willing to admit it. I could probably write a small opus about the feelings I've had during (and with regards to) FB stalking.

Sit on top of the mountain...

I helped host a beer hour on Friday afternoon in my department. It was the usual host of suspects: faculty, grad students, post-docs, lots of beer and pizza, and inhibitions dissolved.

I'll keep this brief, for once.

I can't help but think, as an MD/PhD student, people think of me in a vastly different way than they do about graduate students. I'm not sure why, exactly, but:

1. They think we're really crazy. No, really crazy, obsessed, ambitious, etc.
2. They say things like, "When you're done with getting both degrees, you'll need to sit on a mountain top for a year and smoke lots of pot."

I couldn't "take a year off" (what does "taking a year off" mean anyway?).


How about just a weekend?


P.S. Really working hard in grad school is similar to studying for boards. Research can easily become your life. And according to people who do science PhDs, it almost should become your life. Just saying.