An overdue post on the occasion of the start of PhD training, year two

As I start my second year of Ph.D. training and fourth year in the MSTP, I thought it was high time to reflect on the current State of Things. A testament to the busy nature of my research, I started this post on 6/10/09 and just today am revisiting it.

The past year has been filled with what seemed like highs and lows at the time, but reflecting on it now it all seems like low peaks and shallow valleys. In short, it hasn't been all that crazy. And yet I have covered much ground -- I've been all over the place. So I'll cover the past year in numbered form, as briefly as possible.

1. Coursework: as of this moment, I have completed all required courses in Molecular, Cellular, and Integrative Physiology. What's left now are qualifying exam(s) [I have submitted my written qualifying exam, no word yet if I passed...I'm shooting to do orals by the end of the fall quarter], publish, thesis, defend, submit. To have time solely dedicated to research is a huge bonus. But the coursework of the past year has been a valuable part of my training.

Incidentally, the Powers-That-Be have decided that the didactic elements of the two core courses I took (Biochemistry and Cell Biology, Fall and Winter, respectively) this year are the least productive aspects of said courses, and the emphasis is shifting to a more problem-based learning (PBL) format in the future. I think this is a big mistake. Sitting in lectures five days a week covering a large array of biological science research was hugely important in helping me think about my research. Just because it's boring as hell does not mean it isn't (or wasn't) time well spent.

2. Research Progress: one year ago, almost to the day, I began setting up my own patch clamp rig in lab. Since then, I have learned a boatload about electrophysiology, data analysis, cell culturing, radioactivity handling and experimentation, electronics, handyman problem solving, and a little bit of molecular biology. My project appears to be well underway, and my PI remains confident I will finish the PhD by the end of my third year of graduate training. Things are progressing nicely.

What's more, I have made some important realizations about what it means to do research. A recent conversation with a cousin clarified what I mean by this: research can be either boring as shit or deeply meditative. And often times, it's a blend of the two. This is probably the case because research, when stripped of the flowery explanations, is really just making big observations and repeating experiments enough times to convince yourself and the world that results have physical significance. This may explain why I've logged hundreds of hours of patch clamping, performed tons of radioactive uptake experiments, and many of these experiments were the second, third, fourth, or even tenth repeats of earlier experiment.

So it can get really monotonous. But somehow, when things are working, it all seems OK - it's for a purpose. And even when nothing works, it's also OK, largely because outside intellectual joys [clinical activities, cooking, music, exercising, romance, et cetera] occupy more of my time. Something has to get you through the difficult and discouraging times.

And finally, I think the most important lesson from the research part of my training comes out of [Los Angeles Lakers'] coach Phil Jackson's playbook: nothing too high, nothing too low. No matter how exciting the experimental result or promising the progress, there's no good reason to be manic, euphoric, or irrationally dazed with excitement. And there certainly is no good reason to slip into a melancholic stupor if a project isn't working. It all requires disciplined moderation.

3. Clinical work: I have been less and less to the ICU to take nights/overnights of call. This is a function of many more side projects in lab, and yet I plan in the next month or two to make it in for an evening. That I am in this predicament is as much a testament to research consuming my time as it is evidence of the fact that I value my social life. The clinical skills will be there, even if I take call much less frequently than I used to. Plus I'm waiting for my colleagues who will be doing 4th year sub-I's in the ICU, figuring I can be less of a burden to the residents/interns if I'm bothering a med student.

4. Socially: it's all good. Doing a PhD is definitely a full-time job, but somehow all of the quiet (and monotonous) moments make the requirement for super-charged social interactions less than it used to be. I'm at peace with it all, even if my social life is laden with challenges, successes, failures, and everything in between, just as much now as it was before I started the PhD.